Feeling
by Paine36
Summary: InuYasha has dumped Kagome for Kikyo. Kagome's bent up on killing herself. SessKag
1. Default Chapter

Paine: Hello, I'm back with a new story. Yep, hopefully this chapter is liked, and I'll continue the story from there. So hey, please review

Disclaimer: I don't own yada yada yada…

Title: Feeling

Summary: InuYasha has pushed Kagome to the limit and kisses and proclaims his love for Kikyo in front of her. After, he keeps pushing the poor girl beyond her limit. This makes her come to believe there is no use for her and she becomes depressed. One night she's had it with her life and tries to commit suicide. Sesshoumaru finds her in the forest and decides to take her in. What will this all lead to?

Chapter 1 

Kagome sighed as she walked through Kaede's village in the rain. She'd been walking through the rain for hours, not caring that she was soaking wet to the bone. She glanced into Kaede's hut and saw Kikyo and InuYasha kissing and whispering sweet nothings to each other.

Knowing that Shippo, Sango and Miroku were asleep already, Kagome found herself so alone with no one to talk to. She sighed and walked on. With each step mud covered her shoes and socks; however the girl didn't care. She just wanted to get away, to leave her now pointless life behind her.

The brunette sighed as she remembered what had gotten her into this mess in the first place. She'd told InuYasha she'd loved him, she gave him her heart. And what did he do? He tossed it back to her. No, he tore it into shreds and told her she didn't matter to him. That he never loved her and only saw her as an amusing companion.

That had hurt her so much when he sad those things to her. It had hurt her even more to watch their wedding. Kagome had felt so empty and the only thing that kept her in this time of Japan was Sango, Miroku and Shippo.

_Why do I even exist in this damn world? _Kagome asked herself. She stopped pacing for a moment to just let the rain cascade down her face, the raindrops mixing with her fresh tears. She let out a heavy sigh and kept walking, and eventually made her way west out of the village.

_This just isn't fair…_ Kagome said to herself, knowing that there would be no one to hear her even is she did say anything out loud. "Why?!" She shouted, her tears blurring her vision. She cleared her eyes and stopped at what she saw. A lake, the rain drops falling onto the peaceful water. Frogs were singing on the lily pads, as if ecstatic there was rain. Fish were swimming about eating what they could find.

But that is not what Kagome saw. To her, the lake was a perfect grave. A perfect way to escape the hell she was in called life. Without giving another thought, Kagome's feet propelled her to the water. The water was ice cold, it felt as if a thousand needles were being jabbed into her legs as she walked into the water, but all her eyes betrayed were emptiness, nothing.

_To all of you who cared, I'm sorry, please forgive me. It's too painful to live anymore…_was Kagome's last coherent thought. She released her breath and sank, watching the light of the surface disappear as her eyelids drifted closed.

Little did she know, a pair of eyes had watched the entire past event.

Sesshoumaru had been patrolling his lands when he found her, wandering aimlessly through the outskirts of his land; her eyes unfocused and her strange green and white kimono was soaking wet.

_What in the world is she doing so far away from the half-breed?_ The great youkai thought as he decided to follow the human. He gracefully flew from tree to tree in curiosity of this human; for he didn't smell any scent coming from her. It was as if her emotions were gone.

A slender eyebrow raised as the girl walked towards a lake, one of many in the western lands. As she walked deeper into the lake, Sesshoumaru became a little uneasy.

_What is she thinking? Does the wench want to die? _His eyebrows knitted together to form a 'V' shape on his forehead. She continued to watch, not sure what to do. However, when he saw air bubbles rise to the surface, he decided to rescue the human.

Kagome opened her eyes and saw a blur of white above her with blurred vision. She lifted her head only to find a brain splitting pain waiting for her. She moaned in pain and her head was pushed back to the soft surface she was using as a pillow.

Kagome ignored whatever it was that was keeping him warm and snuggled into her pillow. _Is this heaven? _She grunted to herself and shook her head slightly, her eyes still clamped shut. _No, heaven wouldn't even consider me._

"I know that you are awake wench." Kagome's eyes snapped open at the cold, deep voice. Blinking the blurriness from her eyes, Kagome looked up to see InuYasha's brother; Sesshoumaru.

She tried to scream, but her throat was too dry to even cough. She winced and rubbed her throat in a vain attempt to return her ability to talk.

This caused the demon lord to roll his eyes and drop her unceremoniously onto a futon. "Change into something more appropriate and come down to eat." He said roughly and was out the door.

Kagome glared daggers at the closed door and looked around the room. It was of the traditional Japanese style; rice lanterns hung from the ceiling, the door was a shoji, the walls were of rice paper, save for the wall that the window was located on-

Wait. A window?

Almost as if a light bulb went off in her head, Kagome's eyes lit up with joy when she spotted the window was wide open. She was also relieved that it was summer and the weather wasn't cold.

She used her left arm as a brace and rose to her feet. Taking heavy step after heavy step, it seemed like an eternity until she reached the window. She happily clutched the window sill and immediately regretted it. Electricity shot from the window to Kagome's hand.

She cried and pulled her hand away, it stung to the point it was shaking. _Damn him! _She thought, her anger visible on her face. Sighing, the teenaged girl decided to give up on the escape attempt and went to the closet.

With an effort, Kagome manages to open the small walk in closet's shoji door. After catching her breath, she peeked inside the closet. It was decorated with dozens of Kimono's of a large variety of color and design.

She marveled though them one by one until she chose a black silk kimono with pink sakura blossoms along the hem. Taking off her school uniform, she slipped the kimono with ease, enjoying the way the material slipped over her skin.

After she'd finished tying the red obi around her waist, she went to fold her school uniform. _I wonder if he's going to eventually kill me… _She thought. She shrugged and set down her pile of neatly folded clothes on her futon. Her feet guided her to the shoji door and she slid it open, coming face to face with one of Sesshoumaru's servants.

"Sesshoumaru-sama has sent me to guide you to the informal dining room," The servant bowed humbly to the human girl. "Please, follow me."

Kagome nodded and went with her guide, taking in the surroundings of the entire castle like home. There were many paintings of other youkai decorating the walls in the halls. _Must either be Sesshoumaru's family or other youkai lords…_

"We're here, my lady." The servant held open a door and Kagome walked in. She spotted Sesshoumaru sitting at a small, Japanese rectangular shaped table.

Her gaze remained on the youkai lord until he pointed to a spot across the table.

"Sit." Was his demand. Kagome obeyed and sat down at the side opposite side Sesshoumaru was seated. She folded her hands in her lap and waited, her empty gaze staring at the table.

_I wonder if anyone cares I'm gone. _

"InuYasha!" The female voice yelled.

InuYasha rolled his eyes and turned away from his lover Kikyo. "What the hell do you want Sango?" He yelled back.

The demon exterminator growled with anger and frustration. "Kagome is missing!" Sango screamed at the hanyou. InuYasha rolled his eyes, this action made Sango even angrier.

"So? It's not like we need the stupid wench. Kikyo can find the rest of the shards." InuYasha turned to the said girl and grinned at her. She smiled back and wrapped an arm around his neck.

"Yes," She said quietly. "I do not see a need for Kagome any longer."

By this time, both Miroku and Shippo joined Sango. Sango looked at Miroku hopefully but her look faltered when Miroku shook his head.

"Kagome-sama isn't in the village, I've checked with everyone and they haven't seen her." Sango groaned and leaned her head on Miroku's shoulder.

"What are we going to do?" She asked, groaning in both frustration and worry.

"I do not know my dear Sango." Miroku replied, a goofy plastered on his face.

Sango's eyes widened as she felt a hand on her rear end. "Hentai!" She shouted and struck Miroku across his left cheek. She huffed at him and started to walk to Kaede's hut.

"Maybe we should just go look for her." She suggested. Her pace quickened into a run as she grabbed her Hiraikotsu and the big yellow bag that Kagome always had things they would need in.

"Let's go." Said Sango, determined to find her very good friend. Miroku nodded and followed the demon exterminator. Shippo stopped to glare at InuYasha before going after Sango and Miroku.

InuYasha's ears twitched in frustration. "Argh, fine! I'll come with you." He spat, getting off the branch her was perched on, Kikyo following close behind him.

Tbc……

Paine: Okay, I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter Please Review, it makes me feel special. 'Till nest chap, see ya!


	2. What the Hell?

Warning: Sesshie OOCness!

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha in anyway…. damn…

Feeling

Chapter 2: What the hell

Sesshoumaru was uneasy with both the girl's empty gaze at nothing and her silence. When she was with his dimwit half ling of a brother, she never kept her mouth shut. Why was she so…dead? _She fears me. _His mind proudly proclaimed, but he withdrew that thought. If she were frightened by his presence, he would've been able to sense it, or smell it.

Kagome didn't move from her spot or fidget, too numb from a mixture of the cold outside, the pond and her broken heart all contributing to that. Even though she'd changed into something warm and dry, she still felt the numbness of the cold.

"Why?" She whispered to herself, simply wanting to crawl up into a ball and die. Or jump off something. That would work. She'd be dead and free of this world of pain in which nothing she could ever want would be obtained. Her friends wouldn't have to worry about her anymore; she wouldn't be a burden.

"Woman, are you going to eat or are you deliberately trying to starve yourself to death?" Kagome snapped from her daze and realized there was a bowl of soup and some rice before her. She shook her head, scolding herself for not noticing the servant placing the food there.

Mindlessly, she delicately picked up her chopsticks and slipped small mouthfuls of rice and soup. She glanced at the other at the table and bit her lip. Why did Sesshoumaru save her from her death? The youkai hated humans, he made that fact clear every time he would show up and pick a fight with InuYasha. The unasked question burned on her lips, alas the fear that now swelled inside of her was greatly intimidated by the Lord of the Western Lands.

The said demon lord had finished with his meal. Disappointed from the lack of conversation coming from the girl, he rose and left.

"If you need me," He stated coldly to the girl he knew would never ignore him. "I'll be in my study."

With those words, we walked away. Kagome sighed and was left to finish her meal quite alone. She looked down into her bowl and stirred her chopstick as if they were spoons in it, going over all that had happened to day-err, well, night.

She remembered the small lake earlier and sighed. Why wouldn't fate just let her die? Bored of only dwelling in her thoughts, Kagome rose from the table and idly wandered around. She loved the floor, as cold as it was, the stone it was constructed out of was somehow painted over or stained to be a wonderful shade of dark red. It didn't take Kagome long to come across the study where Sesshoumaru was surly reading over scrolls or something.

Gathering her courage and sick of being alone, she pushed the ajar door forward and stepped into the study which seemed more like a spare room than anything else. The shelves were crammed full of book, a sleeping futon rolled up in a little corner and the Demon Lord himself sitting at a large oak desk.

"What do you want?" He asked, not bothering top look up. He knew it wasn't Rin; the girl would always shout his name and rush to his side and latch to his leg. When he didn't hear a response, his head rose from looking over the scrolls that he'd been sent, mostly requests, and saw _her_ standing in front of him.

"What do you want?" He asked the girl with empty eyes. It wasn't that he was getting annoyed; in fact, it faintly worried him that she'd gone without speaking or without having any feeling or emotions in the hours she'd been here. When he saw her with the half-breed, she was always brimming with useless emotion. However, Sesshoumaru did dislike emotion, but for this girl to lack them as he did, it just wasn't right.

He saw her lips move, but no words come from her throat.

"Repeat yourself." He snarled at the girl, only to wish he didn't. She winced, but her eyes didn't change. They didn't hint fear; they didn't betray her thoughts or emotions. Once again her lack of any emotion or feeling got to him; he didn't like this one bit.

"Why?" She finally said, her voice small and cracking.

"Why what?" The youkai lord shot back at her, his voice as cold and menacing as ever.

"Why did you take me here? Why didn't you just let me die?" She asked.

It had taken so much courage for Kagome to even speak to the frightening lord, but she had. And now she was waiting what would be her fate for questioning his actions. _If I can't kill myself properly, I'll just get myself killed._ She knew Sesshoumaru couldn't stand it when he was talked back to.

"I saved you. Do not question me as to why." He said and went back to looking over his scrolls.

_Damn, _Kagome said to herself. _This isn't going to work…_

Giving up on aggravating the lord, Kagome occupied herself with looking at the books occupying the large bookcase. She found one that caught her interest and sat in a chair near the large desk.

She took a moment to flip through the text before reading it only to find it was only written in complex Kanji, the Japanese writing style that Kagome lacked in. She was a master with Hiragana and Katakana, but not this strange and complex Kanji. She sighed and placed the book back in the bookshelf and sat back on the chair, which she'd temporarily claimed as hers.

The demon lord didn't like the fact that the miko hadn't left the room. She distracted him from his work and he found himself staring at her profile, flawless and perfect in every way. He kept a writing brush in his hand and tried to write responses to all the letters that had been sent to him, but he kept pausing to admire her eyes or to observe her beautiful cream skin.

_What is wrong with me? _He scolded in his mind. _She is a human! Humans aren't worth anything; they are pathetic and weak. _He stopped again to glance at her. _Damn bitch must've cast a spell on me. _His gaze stayed on the girl and thought back to all the times before this that he'd swore he might have wanted her. However when he came to these thoughts, he shook his head in disgust. _Yes, the damned miko defiantly must have cast a spell on my._ Staying with that conclusion, Sesshoumaru wiped his brush dry and gently took the ink slab and replaced them in his drawer.

He rose from his seat and stalked out of his study, leaving the miko behind. He didn't care for the girl, in fact, the only reason he hadn't turned he back into the storm that was still lingering outside was because he knew Rin would want a playmate, she didn't always like playing with Jakken. At least, this is the reason he kept reminding himself was true.

However, he couldn't help noticing the nagging at his heart. The feeling that told him to hold her, to comfort her and tell her everything would be alright, to run his hand through her exquisite raven tresses and revel in the velvet softness of them. He froze in his spot and tensed when that thought crossed his mind.

_What on earth am I thinking? _Sesshoumaru berated himself for conceiving such a thought. Humans were the scum of the earth, so weak and protective of their precious emotions, Sesshoumaru didn't want anything to do with them.

He didn't, right?

Paine: Heyooo! I hope that you all liked chapter 2! Please R/R So I know if this is any good or not .


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